Grow

“If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing.” 

― Coco Chanel

Summer 2012 - Laura Pfaff Photography

Birth Story - Letter 7

Dear Liv, 

A few hours later you were brought to the recovery room where Mama was.  I finally got to hold my precious little girl, which I had dreamed of forever. I was so happy and so was daddy.  Your nurse kept saying to all the other nurses “Look at my little angel with all the hair!”. I looked at you and saw that your hair was not quite as red as I thought it was.  It was more strawberry blonde.  I don’t know what I said, but I somehow told everyone that your name would not be Savanna. Grandma Ginny likes to tell the story of how everyone got out their cell phones and began to make calls to tell our world that your name was NOT Savanna.  For now your name would be Baby Girl Ottilie.

After everyone had left but Daddy, we went to our room and hugged you and fed you …we were just in awe of you.  You had a little bruise on your cheek from when mommy was trying to push you out.  And you had a little red “stork bite” just like Auntie Heather at the nape of your neck. We loved on you and then you went to the nursery to sleep and mommy and daddy did the same.

In the still of the morning sunrise, I awoke and looked to the right and saw Daddy sleeping in the hospital chair.  I wanted to be alone with you.  I went to the nursery and got you and brought you back our room.  While daddy lay sleeping I held you in my arms and played with your little lips, and nose, and toes.  I looked down and the morning light was flickering off your hair and I knew you were to be named Olivia.  The name daddy had decided on in February, the name I loved because I could call you Liv (not knowing that in a few weeks those letters would have so much meaning). Olivia - means olive tree.  But olive tree is a symbol of peace, beauty and dignity.  Some people say olive trees tend to be very long lived. The name also means longevity. Your middle name is Eileen, after my Grandma Gundry.  She was a very special lady with so much spirit, who I adored! Eileen is from the Greek name “Helen” which is a family name on the Martin side of your family tree. It also means sunlight. 

So you are a girl full of peace and sunlight.  What a true description your name is of your personality.

Love you more, 

Mama

Laughter

Dear Liv,

Love you,

Mama

Politness

Dear Liv,

Love,
Mama

Birth Story- Letter 6

Dear Liv, 

I went to the operating room and Daddy was there.  Grandpa & Grandma Gundry, Grandma & Grandpa Kuzniar, Aunty Chris, Austin, Auntie Amy, Uncle Ken, Uncle Eric, Auntie Michele, and Ava were all waiting in the waiting room outside.  The anesthesiologist gave me a block to numb my body from the waist down.  It didn't take!  I could feel Dr. D cutting my tummy to get you out.  I knew that I just had to be strong until they pulled you out of me.  You came out quick and they handed you to Daddy right away.  He came over to where I was lying and held you close to my head so I could see you.  You look like you had red hair and a lot of it – so we named you Savanna Lynn.  We were now our own little family! 

Love you, 

Mama

Beautiful Gift

Dear Liv,

Love, 

Mama

Birth Story - Letter 5

Dear Liv, 

When I woke up on April 1^st I had still not dilated!  Boo haw hah.  I was getting anxious to meet you!  They increased the Pitocin levels and Daddy and I just hung out in the hospital room.  I really don’t remember being in pain or anything.  I do remember praying that the induction worked because I so wanted to meet you!!! The day went on, and on, and on.  They unhooked me from all stuff so I could shower.  They also let me eat.  Daddy went and got us Subway. As night began to fall they restarted the induction medicines.  I slept peacefully through the night, again! When I awoke on Wednesday, April 2 I had finally dilated a little! I would begin to feel contraction and received an epidural to help with the pain.  Grandma and Grandpa Gundry came up and sat with me for awhile.  I remember that I got sick in front of GrandpaJ .  After a few more hours they broke my water and then I finally dilated to the magical 10cm.  They said to push, I did, push again, I did, push again, I did – You just didn’t want to meet us!  It was then decided that it would be best to have a c-sectionL  Mommy had so wanted to have you naturally but we had to do what was best for you.  They took mommy to the operating room and Daddy went and changed into his scrubs.  We were about to meet you, the little girl we had dreamed about!

Love you always, 

Mama

Love

Dear Liv,


Love you,
Mama

Birth Story - Letter 4

Dear Liv,

Around the 39^th week of my pregnancy, on a Friday, we went to the Dr.’s office for our weekly checkup.  Dr. G. was out of the office on vacation so his partner, Dr. D. checked us out.  (Well kind of checked us out)  She took one look at me and said that you were going to be a big baby and that I should be induced (you were still a little over a week from your due date of April 6^th).  I was a little nervous because this meant that Dr. G would not be delivering you as he would still be gone.  Daddy and I asked a lot of questions and then scheduled the induction for that following Monday, March 31^st, trusting that this was what was best for you.

That weekend I stayed very busy to keep my mind at ease because Daddy was working.  Saturday I went into work to tie up some loose ends and then did grocery shopping.  On Sunday I went and saw Grandma and Grandpa Gundry.  Monday was a long day – I was anxious and nervous.  I went to the police station to get you car seat installed. I vacuumed and cleaned the car.  I cleaned the house and organized your nursery.  I took a long bath and shower, thinking in my head this might be the last chance I have for awhile.  Laura came over and visited.  I ate a Mac-N-Cheese. 

The hospital called and changed the induction time from 6pm to 7pm.  I thought it was a good sign since 7 is our lucky number.  Daddy got home from work and we drove into Geneva.  We stopped at a gas station so Mommy could have a Kit-Kat candy bar (I remembered how Auntie Amy couldn’t eat after she was inducedJ).   We then went over to Delnor and registered and the induction began.  They started the Pitocin at 8:30 p.m.  I fell asleep and slept all night!  I thinking you must have been sleeping too as I didn’t dilate at all!  The story continues…

Love you more,

Mama

A Chance

Dear Liv,

Love, 

Mama

Birth Story - Letter 3

Dear Liv,

My pregnancy with you was easy as pie!  I didn’t have morning sickness or anything.  Really I just felt so lucky that I was carrying you.  I did go in for the Gestational Diabetes screening and failed.  I then had to do the three hour test and it showed that I was borderline diabetic.  Dr. G, Daddy, and I decided that I would control my blood sugar by changing my diet and checking my blood three times a day.  I was able to keep my blood sugar low throughout the pregnancy. The only other thing I had, which was really just more of an annoyance was Restless Leg Syndrome at night.  I would take a hot bath and it would usually calm done.  I was most comfortable sleeping on the floor.  I would make a bed on the floor next to our bed so I could be by Daddy!  I craved pizza and Mac-N-Cheese. I played a lot of Tetris on the x-box because Daddy was working weekends then.  It was a blissful time in my life!

You grew right on schedule.  I remember the first time I felt you move I was at work, and it felt like there little butterflies in my tummy.  Over a few weeks I could feel your movements getting stronger.  I would “play “with you just so I could feel the sensation of you moving.  You would flip and roll especially in when I was in the bath tub or early in the morning.

I loved to imagine what you were going to look like – I thought for sure that you would have red hair and brown eyes.  I would later see that God had other plans.

All my love,

Mama

Greatest Good

Dear Liv, 

Mommy loves quotes and lyrics, and i often find one that i think about and i take to heart.  I decided that when i find one that i really like, i will post it here for you too. 

Love,

Mama

Birth Story - Letter 2

Dear Liv,
The beginning of your birth story starts like this…
Once upon a time there was a little girl, with brown eyes and small feet.  All she ever wanted to be when she grew up was a wife and mother – just like her Mom! The years went by and she married her college sweetheart.  They settled into married life and decided that they wanted to start a family.  And here is the point in the little girl’ story that you come in.
Your Daddy and I found out we were going to have a baby at the end of July 2007.  Earlier in the month we had just returned home from a memorable road trip out west.  I remember the exact moment I found out – It was a Saturday and Daddy had gone to the grocery store and while he was gone I took the test.  I couldn’t believe it when I saw that I was pregnant.  I was so excited I dropped my skirt in the toilet!  When Daddy returned home I showed him the test.  I think he was in a little bit of disbelief.  We celebrated and schedule our first Dr. Appointment to confirm the results.  I only told two people before the Dr.’s visit – Auntie Amy and Auntie Heather – I had to tell someone and my sisters are my best friends.  But I didn’t want to tell too many people as I didn’t want to jinx it!  I am not sure if Daddy told anyone or not.  
After the results were confirmed by Dr. G we called Grandma and Grandpa Gundry, who were in Michigan and Grandma and Grandpa Kuzniar, who were in Boston. They were all so excited. You would be the 2nd grandbaby on the Gundry side and the 17th on the Kuzniar side!  Once I found out all was well and I had heard your heartbeat I said a special prayer to God and asked him to protect you and keep you safe. And I promised that as long as he did that I would not complain about anything throughout my pregnancy.  My prayer worked!
At around 20 weeks I went to Dr. G to see if we would be having a boy or a girl. I went to the Dr.’s appointment by myself because Daddy had to work.  My appointment was at 11:00 am, I was bubbling with anticipation.  I asked the ultrasound tech not to tell me what she saw on the pictures because I wanted to find out with Daddy.  She did her business and then put the ultrasound pictures into envelope.  I went back to work and I had to sit the rest of the day with that envelope in my purse – honestly it took everything I had not to take a peek!   When I got home Daddy opened the envelope…
I thought you were going to be a boy for sure, and I think Daddy did too!  We had your name all picked out for Hayden Jon, Hayden after a great Iowa Hawkeyes Football coach and Jon after Grandpa.
But the pictures said – you were a girl!  I was shocked for a few minutes and then I was SOOO excited, I had always dreamed of having a little girl.  We began to think of girl’s name – Savanna Lynn (especially if you had red hair), Olivia Eileen, Hayden Marie, Josephine Eileen, Eileen Lake, and Elizabeth Eileen.  We would go back and forth on your name until you arrived.  I changed my mind every week (I think I drove some people nuts!)
We decided to decorate your nursery in lime green, pink, and red. It all began to come together the nursery, your clothes, diapers, etc.  I was so excited to buy girly things!
This letter had become quite long, I will continue on in the next one.
Love you,
Mama

Birth Story - Letter 1

Dear Liv,
You are at the age now where you often ask about your “birth story”.  I thought I would share the adventure with you now, because I know as times goes by the details and cherished memories of that time will get lost in the cobwebs of the years as they pass all too fast.
The story of your arrival and the months before and after are detailed and cherished.  It will take many letters to recount those precious moments of time.  But you are worth billions of letters!  Also know that I love you and would do everything all over again if meant that I got to call you my daughter.
Love Always,
Mama

The beginning

Dear Liv,

I have had the idea to start a blog for you for awhile.  So often i find myself writing letters to you in my head.  Things i want to say to you. Someday's it is just random stuff, and other days the letters in my head are filled with life lessons and thoughts that i want you to learn or remember. 

Obviously you are only 4 years old but my dream is that some day you will read this blog and take some of the words with you.

I love you with all my heart, 

Mama